I love doing JOIs (jerk off instructions) because I think it’s a really fun thing to do and creates a positive experience for my viewers and myself. When I first got into camming, I had never heard of a JOI and when I found out what it was, I was shocked to find out that women telling men what to do with their cocks was a thing! Once I realized that it was a form of submission, I totally understood. I love the idea of giving up control and being told what to do, especially sexually. However, being a natural submissive, myself, I had a hard time getting used to the idea of instructing not only one person to stroke his cock to orgasm, but hundreds. Jason assured me that it was definitely hot to be told what to do while masturbating sometimes, even for dominant men like him. That turned me on a lot.
Neither one of us was super familiar with JOIs, so we looked up videos together to learn about it. After watching a good number of them, I started to get the jist of how they worked and decided to come up with my own style, using techniques from the different videos I had seen, some of my own intuition and a lot of Jason’s advice. He has experimented with many different ways of masturbating and had some great ideas to share. Due to a combination of factors, my JOIs have elements of self-exploration, self-love, encouragement, domination/submission, challenges, cum denial, teasing, trainers, edging, positivity, motivational thoughts, a bit of LOA theory and some neurology/psychology pseudo-science. Why all that? Because masturbating is a total mindbody experience and I think you should be able to get the most out of it! I take fapping quite seriously.
According to this article, Komisaruk and Wise at the Society for Neuroscience conference presented a study that showed that an orgasm is a whole brain experience. It involves such diverse areas as your genital sensory cortex, motor areas, hypothalamus, thalamus, and substantia nigra. The memories and fantasies that you use to build up arousal involve the thalamus, areas related to memory, integration of sensory information and emotion. As we get close to orgasm, the entire limbic brain (the place that emotions come from) is flooded with sensations. Reward areas like the nucleus accumbens and caudate nucleus become flooded with dopamine. Reaching orgasm is a combination of a variety of cognitive, emotional, and sensory components. Since the mind is functioning at such a rapid rate at this point, new neural pathways can be created easily. Let’s take advantage of this incredible cerebral process since all these different areas are engaged!
Now for the woo. LOA stands for “law of attraction”, which is a metaphysical new thought belief that "like attracts like". Basically, it states that positive and negative thinking bring about positive and negative physical results, respectively. Although this belief has not been scientifically proven, most of us can agree that is seems to be true. We often say: “You reap what you sow”. I figure, since my masturbation time is so personal and intimate, why not take that time to tell myself nice things and fill myself up with positive thoughts? At the time of orgasm, my desire and will are at their most highest. I will stop at nothing to achieve that orgasm moments before it comes and this desire can be transmuted easily into an affirmation of goals. I realized that it is really easy to convince myself of just about anything when I'm cumming because I feel so powerful and limitless.
For example, pick an affirmation and mentally say it over and over to yourself during masturbation, during orgasm and right after. You can say things like, “I am a rockstar!” or “I am sexually powerful”! You can affirm whatever you want. It doesn’t have to do with sex, but if you relate it to sex in some way, it may “make more sense” to your brain. Here is a list of positive male orgasm affirmations. And here is a list of positive female ones.
During my JOIs, I personally like to say things that I believe aren’t said enough to men these days. While I fully support the equality of women, I do believe men are struggling with many societal and cultural pressures that go undiscussed. Too many men are shamed or criticized for their bodies, hard/soft penises, sexual desires (or lack thereof), masculine energy (or lack thereof), jobs (or lack thereof), health, connection with other men, physical strength (or lack thereof), etc. It’s not fair considering how much support there is out there for women’s issues. So in my JOIs, I try to incorporate masturbation encouragement with body appreciation/self-acceptance and add some positive messages in there as well.
Now I mostly do JOI’s, but I have started to do some FMI (female masturbation instructions) and I’m now experimenting with ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response). I’m also working on my CEI (cum eating instructions) skills too!
What about you? Tell me. What do you like to hear when receiving a JOI?